Adam has reached the stage that many children reach somewhere between six months and a year: Mommy mode. While in Mommy mode, the rules are simple and as follows:
- Be attached to Mommy at all times.
- If Mommy detaches, cry.
- If Mommy vacates the area, cry, crawl towards her. If there is an obstacle, such as a gate, in between you and Mommy, latch onto it with both hands, shake it, and screech at the top of your lungs.
- If Daddy tries to distract you by saying your name, simply pause, flash an ugly look in his direction, and return to steps 1, 2, and 3.
- If Daddy picks you up and successfully distracts you to the point that you are playing peacefully, keep an eye out for Mommy. If she appears, return to step 3.
- When Mommy comes back, act really, really sad. Put on your saddest face. She might feel bad and cuddle with you.
- If Mommy does cuddle with you, immediately do the following:
- Blow your nose all over her.
- Pull her hair.
- Hit her in the face.
- Cry. Cry like Mommy is gone, even though she is there. Cry like you can’t find your favorite. Cry like it’s your birthday.
- If another baby, such as your brother Zach, decides that he needs time with Mommy tell him ‘No’. Can’t talk? Smack him in the face.
And this folks, is a summary of Mommy Mode for Baby A. Can’t wait until Baby Z gets it.