Taming Twins: To Those (Things) We've Lost

The boys are a year old now and it’s amazing to look back. Not at the way they’ve grown or the things they’ve learned, but at all the stuff that we had and the things that the boys did that we no longer have to deal with. Here’s the list of all of the things that we’ve had the luxury of purging since our little guys were born. Farewell things, you were good when you were around but we don’t miss you.

WARNING: Large doses of sarcasm follow.

• The preemie clothes – they were still too big for Zach!
• The original crib bumpers that Sally replaced after fearing that the boys would suffocate
• The stroller frame – when the boys were too small to fit in their full size stroller, we’d latch their car seats into the stadium style jogging frame that GiGi got from a Seacoast Moms of Multiples meeting. It was terrible to steer, but it was a great way to bring the boys around the neighborhood.
• The car bouncer – the one that Sally never wanted but got anyway. It ended up being a hit outside and saw some fame during the Labor Day Block Party of 2011.
• The other two bouncers – the Baby Einstien one that I was so excited about and the other one. They entertained the boys for minutes right up until they were six months old. An ‘ole favorite of Zachary’s when he needed to poop.
• The co-sleeper – When Adam refused to sleep in the crib even though it was only three feet away from us we ran out and bought a co-sleeper to put between the pillows so that he could sleep with us safely. He used to kick Sally every few minutes just to make sure she was there. I’m glad I have my bed back.
• The play mats – back when all the boys did was lay around and all we wanted them to do was move. Ha! They were good for rolling over and looking around, but we’re much happier with crawling and walking.
• Constant barfing – young babies spit up often. Multiple times an hour even. You always have to guard yourself with a burp cloth because you never know when a spitup is going to happen. Glad those are gone.
• Not rolling over / smiling / cooing / holding head up / responding to their name / eating solid foods / sitting up / crawling / walking / playing football / going to college – These are all of the things that you freak out over if your baby doesn’t do them when they are “supposed to”. It drives you nuts until they finally do and you realize that the only thing wrong with them is their parents. We’ve crossed most of these out.
• The swings – there were two amazing objects that allowed us to sleep for the months of April – September of 2011. They were battery operated swings and they were often the only way to get the boys (aka Adam) to sleep at night. They chewed through D batteries like a Zombie chews through a person handcuffed to a pole, but they were SO worth it. And I’m really glad they are gone because they were so gargantuan.
• 4 oz bottles – we had a lot of them. They were small. Now we have larger ones and there are fewer of them. Less is more.
• Breast pumping stuff – It didn’t work out. Oh well. Bye bye pump!
• Formula (for Zach) – Adam may be stuck on Alimentum for the next year but Zachary is in milk land. No more powder. No more mixing. Just pour and go. Fantastic.
• Size Newborn, 1, 2, and 3 diapers – who needs them. Size 4 is where it’s at.
• Baby Bjorns – a great way to carry around young babies in a fashionable front pack. Heavy and cumbersome after about 4 months. Farewell.
• Little bathtubs – we bought two baby bathtubs for the boys but always stuck them in the same one. Until it was too small. Then we bought a bigger one. Until Zach didn’t like Adam all up in his grill. Now they use the full tub like big boys.
• Swaddles, Swaddle Me, Swaddling – It worked for a while and then it just became annoying. After a while babies don’t like being swaddled any more than adults like being in a straight jacket.
• “The Fourth Trimester”, shusshing ,and all that – It worked in the video that they showed us in birthing class but Adam and Zach were never much for being shooshed. They just told us to shut up.