My friends welcomed their son into the world and said farewell a day later. What had been a full term pregnancy with no problems turned into a nightmare in an instant. He moved and squirmed all the way through labor but upon entering this world his heart and breathing stopped. After being resuscitated and put on a breathing machine he was moved to a NICU at an area hospital. His parents, our close friends, spent few precious hours with their son then called to let us know that he had passed, at peace with the world.
They didn’t deserve this. Their son was supposed to grow up with ours. They were going to go to school together. They were going to play together. They were going to be like an extended family for each other. I never had that as a child and was excited that my sons would.
I lost my mother when I was 12. For three years I watched her weaken and wither until she passed. It was devastating. But she had lived her life. I cannot imagine losing a child, one who has not even had a chance to live. When we sorted though all of my mom’s belongings we remembered what had been. When our friends sort through their nursery, the clothes, the toys they will remember what could have been.
I can’t imagine what they are going through right now. There is a long road of healing in front of them. Our boys should be born hopefully healthy within the next month and I’m not sure what happens to our friendship at that point. When we were unable to get pregnant it was difficult for us to spend time with all of our friends that were pregnant. We skipped a lot of parties and didn’t speak to them for a while. I wouldn’t be surprised if the same happened and I would understand why.
Life can be cruel. But when it hurts us it makes us stronger. My friends didn’t deserve this, no one does. Feelings of sadness and compassion are the best that we can do for our friends until they need more from us. We will be there for them whenever they call on us. Be strong. We’re here for you.